I’ve spent my entire life

Trying to be like someone else

Trying to get the attention

The applause

Of all who were in the room

But all those people went their own way

The room is empty now

So silent

So quiet

And here I am alone

With a person I don’t even know

A person who’s nothing more than a facade

Nothing less than a shadow

Where someone turned the light off

This dark, still space

Is heavy, almost unbearable, in my chest

So I know there is something there

I simply don’t know what

Or Who

I’m frankly terrified at what may come forth

What if I really am a monster

A hideous genetic accident

A blight on the design of the universe

A person incapable of love

Or being loved

What if I don’t measure up

To all that is considered greatness?

What if I fail in every single category

In everything known to matter?

I’m not so sure the “what if’s” matter

I’m not so sure I’ve ever seen them bring forth life

Or maybe they do

What if I’m more beautiful than could ever be imagined

What if I really am a child of God

What if my very existence brings a flower of change

A spark of exquisite light to a backdrop of dark gray

What if I am not alone

What if there is infinite love within me

What if there is nothing but hope and goodness

And everything else is just a mere illusion

What if….

What if I join in a divine embrace?

4/4/20 kdc

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