In the Beginning

In the Beginning

If one is supposed to write what’s inside

Then how does one write emptiness?

How does one write vacuous?

How do you write nothing and void?

It seems that is what is always at the beginning

The greatest power hovering, hovering

Humming, singing

Music is always in the midst it seems

Even in this barren landscape

Bereft of all dreams

Music is always right in the midst

My biggest challenge

To not make a fist

And crush the very thing that gives me life

A broken suet, a sharpened knife

Wondering when the birds will even notice me

And when they do, they fly

I often wonder why I’m asking why

It always leads past this dark forest

The one where no one sees inside

There is simply dark and mystery

Scents and smells

Of everlasting

Scents and smells of eternal

Both eternal dark and light

Both ephemeral day and night

A land where disoriented is the norm

A land where sun and coming storm

Both dwell together quite splendidly

So where do I go from here

I cannot tell what is east from west

I cannot hear my heart within my chest

I am simply walking to nowhere

Simply gazing to sky

Simply looking for answers

Where the only answer is why

5/23/20 kdc

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Greetings from somewhere in the post-void state – ie from created space/time and other vibrational strata. Love your poem! I’m guessing by the quantity of your May posting that you’re not as busy with your practice as pre-covid. Hope you all are well physically and spiritually. If I saw you I’d want to hug you…which comprises many suppositions and possible implications. So I guess it’s better not to be in socially intimate spaces. Or is it? Love you bro!

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    1. Hey! Great to hear from you. I would take that hug. I need it. I’m doing ok. I am going through somewhat of a “deconstruction” process. And I know a lot of people think that means I’m giving up on faith, but I’m not. I’m learning what it means to love God and be myself. It’s a process and I think it’s going to be an eternal process for me. I am writing more, and it has been more “quiet” but things are picking back up, plus I’m working extra jobs when I can. Melissa and I opened up a BnB just as all of this “shelter at home” took place, so we’ve been in an interesting spot with that, but my extra work is keeping us going. I miss you guys and hope all is going well for you. Thanks again for following my blog and I look forward to keeping up with you guys by following yours!

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      1. I think God is doing that deep work that can lead to deconstruction. The process of life stripping away the dross to leave the gold. Those who do not struggle with their faith are stuck at some sophomoric stage with dogma and certitudious doctrine. So amazing the timing of your comment as I have recent notes on doubt and deconstruction using that very word. I just went and read one of my first blogs that deals with the concept of faith needing to be forged like horseshoes so as to be of use in the toil of life. It’s titled of Job and Jesus. Let me know what you think. Seems like I’ve been on this deconstruction journey since I was 26 and hit a concrete light pole doing 50 miles per second squared. My first experience of God. If it ever gets easy it’s not real. But while life forges is into something a certain knowledge is getting built up that does make it easier. A certain knowledge of Him way deep inside that doubt can’t touch.

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