Crossroads

Photo by Henry Kotula

Crossroads

Maybe it’s time to say goodbye to guilt

To shame

To self-criticism and hate

I hear the screams of the rigid

“you’re taking away the right from the wrong”

Exactly

I’m tired of playing this dualistic song

I’m tired of the same old lyrics

The same old endings

The same old routines

I’ve listened so long to what righteousness means

That when I awoke I found I had no freaking idea

So here I am, basked in broad panacea

Wondering if there is even a disease

Wondering if the absence of leaves on the trees

Has been what I was taught was all right was all wrong

Wondering if this sedative was a poison all along

Deadening the world and the living

Taking and taking while touting the giving

Was the answer to all of life’s failures

I sit here penniless, empty handed, a shell

I’ve tried so many things, done none of them well

I stand at the crossroads of yearning

Maybe a pause, maybe unlearning

Is exactly where I need to be

Maybe it doesn’t matter which road I take

When both roads lead to me free

_

8/24/20, kdc

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